2016 has been a challenging year (understatement)! A surreal  year, in fact, if Merriam-Webster's "Word of the Year" is anything to go by.

Up here in Canada, we're watching what looks like a worldwide trend towards extreme right-wing political parties in government. I'm proud to have been able to lend a hand to some local political happenings in recent years (such as the non-partisan "Get Out The Vote" volunteer initiative VoteKit, and helping on campaigns for Calgary Mayor Naheed Nenshi) - but I'm no political expert. In 2016, like so many other people, I've felt a strong desire to get myself educated really fast, about what's happening in the US political scene and beyond - so that I can be prepared for whatever's coming next.

Kendzior has been compared to Cassandra, the character from ancient Greek literature who foretold the future (and who was doomed never to be believed). But it seems she herself may prefer the comparison to John McClane, the hero of Die Hard. Spoiler (in case you don't know, or can't guess?!): McClane takes on a pack of bad guys singlehandedly and saves the day. Of course, lots of people get killed in the movie. Needless to say, I'm hoping that Sarah Kendzior's pen is mightier than the swords that are being rattled on the international stage these days; it's my wholehearted wish that the world's political divides can be healed WITHOUT violence, even the Hollywood movie kind. 

It's thanks to them that I learned about such important teenage cultural phenomena like the German version of Dungeons and Dragons, the video game "DOOM" (ugh), and movies like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Highlander, and... Die Hard.

As my exchange neared its end, I wrote a comic strip to pay tribute to the inside jokes we'd shared during our year together. And for some reason, it ended up being about Die Hard. When I read Sarah Kendzior's tweets about John McClane over the past month, it stirred up a memory of this comic strip and I actually found a copy of it on an old hard drive (the original was in colour).

So, because it's Christmas (well, it was when I started writing this), and because it's "surreal" 2016,  I thought I'd post this never-published strip.

A note which you may find kinda funny: The movie in German is called "Stirb Langsam," which means "Die SLOW"... kinda lacks the defiant ring of the English title. Let me promise you another post on ridiculously-translated German movie titles another time, but for now:

Warnings:

1. It's really long.

2. It's also really bad, but remember, I was 17!

3. It's full of jokes that no one will get, so I've added notes to keep it sort of understandable. Translations from German are at the bottom of each page.

4. Hopefully my friends won't be too annoyed that I'm posting this ancient stuff.

5. It's not really anything like Die Hard (although there are good guys, bad guys, a hostage-taking, and a lot of guns) - Die Hard just provided a premise. So, in case readers like Sarah Kendzior are actually drawn in this direction, please don't feel any pressure to read this. I just wanted to give you a shout-out for the work that you do. A shout-out, too, to Canada's journalists, Canada's Kenziors and pen-wielding McClanes, who may yet write about happy endings, against all odds. Yippee-kay-yay and a belated Merry Christmas!

Songs playing on the cassette player in my room: Matthias Reim ("Ich hab' geträumt von Dir"), Marillion ("Kayleigh"), and Elton John ("Sorry seems to be the hardest word").

Next page: We meet Alexa strolling through Bretten's main square. She was a girl at our school who was famous for having a crush on Christian. Enter the Phantom of the Opera, a topical character at the time since the Phantom had recently made its German-language debut in Hamburg.

He asks Alexa if it's true that Bruce Willis is coming to Bretten, and rejoices in the news since he apparently bears Bruce a long-standing grudge. It seems that, long ago, the Phantom loved a young opera singer - but she loved Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny (as per the original Phantom story). They fought, and the Phantom thought Raoul died... but no! He escaped with the girl and they fled to America....

...There, he took the name of Bruce Willis and became a famous movie star. The Phantom was apparently too broke to travel to America to confront him. But when he heard Bruce was coming to Bretten, he came up (from the sewers of Paris, I guess?) to find his chance for revenge.

He asks Alexa for help and she asks, "What's in it for me?"

"What do you want?" he asks.

"I'm in love with this boy," she responds. They agree that he'll help to kidnap Christian in exchange for her help. He explains his plan: since Bruce is always surrounded by people, they'll have to take hostages. Alexa is charged with finding "two killers" to help them. After all this, she asks - "wait! Who are you?" But the Phantom strides off into the night...

The next day, the phone rings at the home where Sam lives as an exchange student along with her 13-year-old host sister Friederike (Rike). Rike is in her room with her dog Otti, her New Kids on the Block posters, and her neverending soundtrack to Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Starlight Express" in German (try listening to that for several months and see what it does to your head... actually, just don't). The phone's for Sam, so Rike heads to Sam's room, where Sam is hanging out with JP and Christian listening to "Love Bites." JP, Christian and I had a sort-of-true joke about being three "depressed," socially shy people, who sat in our dark rooms with candles and gloomy music since we weren't popular at school... more on that later...

It's Markus on the phone, a creepy older guy who (in real life) been arbitrarily pursuing Sam, Christian's sister Andi, and numerous other local girls (hence the many phone numbers on his wall). He calls Sam "Zementa," a joke about how he can't keep track of who's who, along with another joke about how some Germans thought my name ("Samantha") sounded like the word for "cement" ("Zement").

He asks what she's doing that day and she says she's going to be an extra in the film. He says he might drop by there too.

JP, Christian, Sam and Rike head down to the Melanchthon-Gymnasium (our school) where the film will be shot, to the sound of Pink Floyd's "On the Turning Away." Sam asks who's making the soundtrack to the film, and Rike responds: "Matthias Reim!"

Alexa has found her two "killers:" the evil Herr Becker, a teacher at the school who had an antagonistic relationship wth Christian, and Andreas, a headbanger-type who was a real-life enemy of Jens-Peter.

"Here's your money and your MPs [I guess that's a kind of gun? Pardon my ignorance] - hide them," Alexa instructs. She tells them to take out the guns when they see her talking to Bruce.

Meanwhile, Bruce himself is being forced to listen to Matthias Reim's music, and pronounces that he hates it! "You're an idiot. It's a super song," responds Matthias. Overhearing this, Alexa asks Matthias if he'd be glad if Bruce were dead, and the thin-skinned Matthias confirms that he would.

Alexa instructs Matthias to take out his gun - but not to shoot - when he sees her talking to Bruce.

Meanwhile, Otti escapes from Rike's arms and runs into the boys' washroom. Rike asks JP and Christian if they can bring Otti back for her...

While JP and Christian head upstairs, Alexa asks Bruce for his autograph. He asks if she has a pen and she responds that she has a gun!

The crowd is taken hostage by Herr Becker, Andreas, and Matthias! "What's up?" demands Bruce. Alexa tells him: "Be quiet and come with me." The other bad guys are told to take the crowd into the gym.

JP and Christian have found Otti in the bathroom, but then they hear sounds outside. Bruce is being taken upstairs, asking, "What do you want with me?" At the top of the stairs, he's confronted by his old enemy, the Phantom. "At last, the time has come for my revenge! This time, Herr Willis, you will die!"

Alexa, Matthias, and the boys in the bathroom, hear the shot. "This time he's really dead," says the Phantom. "Now let's go to the gym and you'll get what I promised you," he tells Alexa.

JP and Christian bend over Bruce's body ("In a cartoon, JP's knees bend" - something he had trouble with in real life). "Is he really dead?" asks JP. Christian confirms that he is really dead - "tod" - in a double joke about Christian's ambitions to be a doctor, and the fact that his last name, "Toth," is pronounced the same way as the German word "Tod," or "death," creating a neverending joke for him about being called "Dr. Death."

"What should we do?" asks JP. "It's dangerous to go downstairs."
"But we have to rescue the others," says Christian. "Where can we find help?"

JP, looking out of the window, calls, "Hey! Who's that?"

It's Oliver, our friend who, recently consumed with infatuation over a new girlfriend, had completely dropped out of our lives. He's no help here, either.

JP makes another joke about Germany in general: "It's useless to ask anyone else for help, since it's Saturday and everyone knows that everyone in Germany washes their cars on Saturday."

"Chris - we're really alone," proclaims JP, and they shake on it to the tune of Dire Straights' "Brothers in Arms."

Meanwhile, Alexa discovers that Christian isn't in the crowd. Andreas says that no one has been allowed to leave the school. The Phantom tells Andreas to look upstairs, while the others stay in the gym.

Upstairs, Christian departs to look on the third floor, while JP is left lamenting the death of Bruce....

Confronting Andreas one-on-one, JP remembers his real-life karate lessons and Andreas's real-life words that "guys like you should...."

JP employs a real-life karate move he'd recently learned about - the one-time push to the solar plexus that apparently kills in an instant. JP finishes Andreas's sentence: "... should be lined up against the wall." (Andreas really was a jerk! Also, I don't know if my German version of that sentence is correct, but whatever.)

Christian reappears, and JP gives him the gun, saying, "You're welcome." They tell Otti to stay there...

Seeing Herr Becker, they debate whether they should shoot him. Christian worries that if he shoots him, Becker will give him a bad mark in school. JP responds with an English phrase which I think these guys made up. Their English was really good, but without the worldwide media coverage and internet resources of today, sometimes their interpretations of American cultural stuff was pretty funny. For example, they thought the Bob Marley song "No woman no cry," was a lament for guys who'd been cheated on by their girlfriends, hence the conclusion, "If you don't have a [cheating, unreliable] woman, you won't have to cry." Apparently, this misinterpretation is common in Germany, actually. But again, I digress...

"Is it still dangerous?" Christian asks. "No," says Alexa. "Wow! You're my hero!" ...

Matthias: "Now I'll do you in!"
Alexa: "But not Christian!"
Matthias: "Ok, but his friend."
JP: "I don't want to die!"
Christian: "Death is better than Alexa!"

And now, my tribute to the wonderful silver-tongued JP, who was famous for his ability to think on his feet and twist words to mean anything. He starts talking to Matthias, pushing all his buttons, and ultimately rendering him into a pile of mush with the following arguments:

"You know, Matthias, you were my hero! I loved your music! I bought your cassettes! You were a person I could really identify with! But now I see the real Reim - a killer! What would your mother think?? Chris and I are young - we have our whole wonderful lives ahead of us. And you just say "hmm." What does that mean? Does "hmm" mean something important or symbolic? No! You only say it, because you have no heart! You are cruel!"

While JP checks for "ammo," Matthias debates which one to shoot. Alexa, seeing him look to Christian, runs to protect him...

JP discovers he is armed... and Alexa dies in Christian's arms ("dead but happy"). "I'm at the end," is what Christian always said in real-life after playing tennis, which he did semi-professionally for a long time...

C: "I think the danger's past."
JP: "We can rescue the people."

The director asks: "Where's Bruce?"
To keep JP from answering, a girl from our school who JP kinda fancied, falls gratuitously into his arms.
The Phantom announces: "You can all go free. I have my revenge! Goodbye!"

Meanwhile, along comes the creepy Markus, debating whether he'll pursue Sam or Andi, and listening to "Bochum" by Herbert Groenemeyer in his car. Getting out, he realizes it's cold out. The Phantom, hearing him, offers him his coat and hat. The Phantom strides off, saying, "I'm so happy. At last, he's dead."

When Markus comes in, clad in the Phantom's attire, JP responds, "What! Again already!"

It wasn't the Phantom... it was Markus! Sam and Andi rejoice at Markus's death. (By the way, one more proviso: I don't usually... or ever... write comics in which so many people die so casually and violently, and in which their deaths are greeted with responses like this! But remember... "Die Hard"!)

The director demands again to know Bruce's whereabouts. JP brings the sad news that Bruce is dead. But a voice calls: "Wrong!"

Bruce appears with Otti, and "Dr. Toth" says, "But Bruce, you were really dead!"

"I was just a little bit dead," says Bruce in an echo of The Princess Bride... "I'm like The Highlander and I can't die! It's very practical for an actor. In "Die Hard 1" I died three times!"

Transported by the mention of "The Highlander," JP and Chris tear up as they think of the Queen song, "There's no time for us..."

Then in comes the mayor of Bretten: "Are you Jens-Peter Berk? You killed three people today.....

... you've killed ENOUGH people. You won't have to go to the army!"

(German boys had to do a year of military or volunteer service after they finished high school, and this was something JP had been dreading a lot. Does this still happen in Germany?)

After Christian is picked up by a talent scout for tennis players, JP reflects: "Wow! We are rich and famous! We can be really happy!"

C: "We won't have to be depressed!"

JP and C: "Not depressed? We have to be depressed! Otherwise we can't live! What should we do!"

Sam saves the day: "Come with me, I have candles and music - everything we need. Don't worry. Let's go!"

But none of that happened. Instead, after a long day, I closed the trunk of my mom's car - but I didn't notice that the trunk of her car sticks out about a foot further than the  trunk of my car. The trunk came down on my head, and I ended up with a mild concussion. I missed the Expo and most of the other stuff I had planned over the next few months. After about a month, though, I was able to write and draw, and since I was getting pretty bored of lying in bed with my eyes closed, I wrote this comic. Later, on one of the first days I risked venturing back into society, I brought this comic along to Calgary's first annual Panel One Comic Creators Fest in June.

When I read it now, I think:
1. Hm, that just goes to show what kind of a weird, rambly headspace I was in, when I wrote all that stuff.
2. Man, I should have been lying in the dark with my eyes closed, instead of writing that ridiculous comic!

Anyway, I just realized that somehow this comic never got posted. So, for all you readers who are interested in comics about concussions, and/or how I spent my summer vacation, here's my post-concussion comic.

By the way, in case you're wondering: I think I was pretty lucky, as far as concussions go. I've heard a lot of people describing symptoms that persist for months and years after a bump on the head. In my case, things are definitely different than they were before, even now, eight months later. I get headaches I never used to - but they're not that bad. The good news is, concussions are being studied and treated with greater care than ever before, and so it seems hopeful that future sufferers may have better prospects for recovery.

Hi Ramsay comic strip readers! Before I post this month's comic, here's a little bit about why I wrote it:

Over the past five years or so, I've been writing a comic strip that runs in my monthly community newsletter. This is just something I've done for fun, because I was inspired by the people, places and stories in my neighbourhood. It was a way to give back.

I've written comics about politics here and there - my first foray into indie comics was a story about the effects of September 11th, 2001 on Canada, and my most recent politically-themed comic was "City Hall 101," a story about how everyday Calgary citizens can weigh in on issues that matter to them, at City Hall.

But I've steered clear of politics in "Sam Hester's Ramsay." I've never wanted to use my little neighbourhood strip as my own political soapbox. The newsletter only circulates to about 1000 households, along with being posted to the Community Association website and my own blog. But if my comic is even a small part of the face Ramsay presents to the outside world, I want to make sure it's as inclusive, diverse and welcoming a face as I can help to make it.

That's still what I want. But this month, I had to write about my fear of what's happening in the United States as the world watches the unprecedented period of "transition" following Donald Trump's presidential victory on November 8th , 2016.

Ultimately, whatever happens and whatever you believe, anything we will be able to do to keep the human race going, under any kind of political leadership, will be about sharing space with your neighbours. I'm hoping that's a message that can resonate with everyone!

I hope it might spark some conversations - maybe even motivate people to reach out, in their own networks, for answers to the questions they have. And if people think I'm absolutely wrong about my take on this - I hope those people will talk about it, think about it, do something about it, too! If neighbours are getting connected, my art is doing its job.

By the way, independent comics creators all over the world are using their medium to share stories about what's happening in America right now. Take a look at what Alison Bechdel is doing; Francoise Mouly and Nadja Spiegelman are putting together an important project too. (If you know about any other comics that are being written about this, I'd love to hear - especially if they're Canadian!)

Let me leave you with this quote from American journalist for the Globe & Mail, Sarah Kendzior, who's provided a voice of reason throughout the entire American election campaign, and even more so in the past weeks now that she's really gaining an international audience (thank goodness). This quote is from an article she wrote on November 18th, 2016:

"You still have your freedom, so use it. There are many groups organizing for both resistance and subsistence, but we are heading into dark times, and you need to be your own light. Do not accept brutality and cruelty as normal even if it is sanctioned. Protect the vulnerable and encourage the afraid. If you are brave, stand up for others. If you cannot be brave – and it is often hard to be brave – be kind."

I have a few more thoughts about this, so look for another post very soon, with some ideas about what neighbours can do next. Until then: be kind, to yourself and to your neighbours, too.